Pregnancy: Let’s Get Real

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Real Life: Wearing my hubby’s clothes, hair not done, no make-up…Nope, I can only do two things today; homeschool while trying to keep my cookies down…

I really admire optimistic people. You know those really sunny, smiley, eternally happy people that find the silver lining in everything and don’t seem to even feel or see anything negative. I love to be around people like that, they are inspiring and really just make your day. I want to be like that so I try to surround myself with what I want to become.

However, I’m not there yet. I wouldn’t say I’m a pessimist, but I’m very realistic. I can see the positive, but I don’t ignore the negative. I also need realistic people in my life, I want someone that is going to tell me how it is, or will be. Someone that will give it to me straight. I want to know what to REALLY expect.

So with that said, these next few posts on pregnancy are going to be realistic. They are my experiences, I am not a doctor nor expert in any way. I have had 8 pregnancies in the last 10 ½ years and am just about to complete my 5th full-term pregnancy in January. Every person and every body is different so I really don’t think anyone has the same kind of pregnancy as some one else. Furthermore, in my experience every pregnancy is different, though you may have some things that are similar with each one.

So let’s get real.

1.) Morning Sickness:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           -First of all I have NO idea why it is called MORNING sickness. For me it is all day and all night sickness. Morning is worst because my blood sugar is low and I’m so tired. Evenings are more indigestion issues. I generally start to feel queasy at conception and get to the “constantly” sick point at around 6-8 weeks and it goes to more infrequent spurts of sickness around 25-30 weeks, but I have had stomach issues for the entire 9 months for each pregnancy.

2.) Energy:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              -For me, the tiredness is worse when the morning sickness is worse and then again toward the end. Not sure if it’s because I’m busier with each subsequent pregnancy and have less time to rest, but it seems that with each pregnancy I have had to battle the fatigue more. I also have a very hard time sleeping in general when I’m pregnant. In the beginning my stomach issues are the biggest hurdle, I can usually only sleep on my left side or I throw up. As the baby gets heavier my sciatica and tail-bone decide to wake me up in pain. The last couple of months I have really bad insomnia and though I’m incredibly tired I have a horrible time going and staying asleep, probably because by this time my mind is working MUCH more than my body is able to keep up so I get a bit frustrated and then anxiety kicks in. After the morning sickness is not constant I do find that I can get by with more normal amounts of sleep, but I still have to lay down to rest my back and veins for a bit during the day. I have had the “nesting” phase kick in with each pregnancy 2-3 weeks before delivery in differing phases. Sometimes it’s just enough to motivate me to get prepared for the baby while other times my husband has woken up at all hours of the night to find me scrubbing the top of the refrigerator (true story)!

3.) Body Changes:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 -You could get breast augmentation or you could get pregnant. Seriously, the girls GROW! My first pregnancy I went from a small C-cup to a very full E-cup….I didn’t even know until then that an E-cup existed! My poor first born trying to breast feed…you try latching on to a beach ball! Thankfully with my subsequent pregnancies I’ve gone only up to a DD-cup, but since it’s still quite the leap and my upper back and neck definitely feel the strain. Also, by my second pregnancy the ladies shrunk down to a full C-cup generally by month 4 postpartum.

-I’m nearly 6ft tall and just generally a large person. I also carry my babies low and to the back. Thus, I don’t even look pregnant until I’m about 5-6months. I’ve been told by dozens of people that this is a wonderful thing. While I’m sure there are benefits, the cons I’ve had to deal with are sciatica, tail-bone displacement, varicose veins, and back labor. Also, though comparatively speaking my tummy doesn’t get “out there” I’ve had abdominal separation (diastasis recti) with each pregnancy, and it’s never knitted back together completely after the last three, though I have gotten close. My hips and ribs also always have grown as the baby pushes away at my insides, sometimes getting up to 4 inches wider. Thankfully they’ve gone back to position by month 5 postpartum, at the latest.

-As for weight gain, I have always lost weight (between 10-15 lbs) during the first trimester and usually don’t hit my pre-pregnancy weight again until about 5 months along. But don’t you worry! I do PLENTY of catching up in those last 4 months;) I’m not huge on weighing myself, I don’t even own a scale on purpose cause I get too obsessive. So I’m never real sure what my exact pre-pregnancy weight is but I’ve gained anywhere from 19 lbs with my second pregnancy to this pregnancy I’m currently at 44 pounds at 37 weeks! Yikes! I usually lose a few pounds at the end but suffice it to say I’ve got my work cut out for me after this one;)

-In the first trimester I generally have problems with body regulations. I don’t urinate often cause I’m vomiting up the liquids and/or not able to tolerate them, then due to lack of hydration I am generally constipated. I also am generally very cold during the first trimester and have a hard time regulating my body temperature. I get faint easily and often get headaches due to hydration issues. By the last trimester I generally just feel out of control of my body. I’m hot then cold. Gas is coming out both ends without warning. My bowels can’t decide whether to speed up or slow down. If I drink anything, or laugh, or cough, or pick up my toddler, or sit down or get up to fast, or go over bumps in the car, I have to pee. During two of my pregnancies I’ve had some swelling in my hands and feet/ankles, they’ve also been the ones in which I’ve gained the most weight, so go figure. Though I’ve always been able to keep my wedding ring on the entire time, every pregnancy either due to swelling and/or my feet actually widening, I’ve had shoes that I have to wait ‘til about 4-5 months postpartum to fit into again.

-Obviously, having a little baby inside of you is going to create some discomfort. Though the babies movements are thrilling and interesting on one hand, having someone kick your bladder, suffocate your lungs, press on your intestines and push your spine and ribs apart can be a bit disconcerting at times. I’ve found that personality tends to drive the types and frequency of movements. My more active and exuberant children have been that way even in the womb. My “dancer” today would hear one note of music in the womb and start “dancing”. Interestingly, my two children that have had the hardest time with sibling rivalry were that way from the beginning, if my toddler sat on my lap and the baby could feel her she would push at her until she moved. Thankfully, I’ve come to the point of acceptance for the most part and thankfully my last couple babies haven’t been the kick-boxers my first couple wereJ

4.) Emotions

-Generally speaking I’m a wreck when I’m pregnant. I cry over EVERYTHING. I over-react over EVERYTHING. I’m also much more “needy”, feeling lonely more easily and not liking to do things by myself. I get stressed and overwhelmed more easily. I generally hit some “blues” during all of my pregnancies, mostly due to overwhelm I think, but with two of my pregnancies I’ve had quite the battle with prenatal (antenatal) depression which seems to dissipate after the birth. I also get a bit of a “head-trip” when I really start gaining weight and my belly starts to grow. I like to be fit and seeing my body look more like the Michelin Man kind of makes me feel a little insecure, even downright ugly at times. Overall it’s a roller-coaster, I’m happy, then sad, then angry, then anxious….up and down and all around. Honestly, it’s just REALLY annoying.

5.) Spirituality

– Though incredibly related to emotions, I’m putting a separate category for this because it is truly a life changing experience. Honestly, I detest pregnancy in every other aspect other than this one. I would guess that I’ve had an overall feeling of deeper and more intense spiritual experiences during pregnancy largely because I am so intimately connected with another living spirit. Those that would argue that the fetus is not technically human, nor spiritually aware have never felt the immediate difference one feels even during the first trimester of pregnancy. There is definitely another spirit with you. With each of my pregnancies I have felt not only a presence but a definite personality and being with me. It is truly an amazing experience and it’s no surprise that when your baby is finally born it’s as if you’ve always had them in your life. God is truly wise.

Like I mentioned at the beginning, this is more just to “tell it like it is”, from my experience. In my following posts on pregnancy I’ll deal more with tips and advice. And still further posts on labor and postpartum.

Stay tuned:)